Personally, I think you should go with the Nokia! )

Here’s a novel idea…

According to a radio ad I heard this morning the Carphone Warehouse are now paying staff bonuses based on how happy their customers are – not on how much they sell!

Read this Times article to find out more

They do this by texting their customers a couple of days after buying their phone asking them to rate the service they received.

This is a great example of ‘Purple Cow’ thinking by a big corporate.

The Mobile Phone marking is one of the most crowded and competitive retail sectors there is.  Margins are wafer-thin and the only way merchants can make money is by shear volume.

Think about it – you can stroll down your typical High Street and buy the same phone and package at the same price from any number of different vendors (Easy Street this is not).  Carphone Warehouse has taken a brave punt with this – but I think it’s going to work for them.

Instead of walking into a mobile phone shop and being pounced on by a ton of hungry vultures (sorry, ‘Communication Advisers’) gorging on your very carcass – popping into the Carphone Warehouse may just be a very pleasant experience!

Who would you buy your next mobile phone off?  A vulture or a dove?

Ever wondered why your competition may be getting more phone calls than you?

The layman’s answer is “Advertise More!” – but a probable answer is your ‘Branding’ may not be showing you off in the best light.

Look at it another way – is your branding Sexy?

By sexy, I mean, is it attractive?

As a purely business ‘exercise’ pop out on the town this weekend and visit the most ‘hip’ bars, clubs and restaurants.  Grab yourself a seat and see the ‘vibe’ being set off by your fellow revellers.

The ones that tend to get the most attention, are the ones that set out the correct ‘vibe’…

• They dress to impress – the latest labels with a ‘killer cut’ compliments their figure and makes them stand out from the crowd.
• A funky hairdo – shows individuality, knowledge of current trends, and association (Jennifer Anniston, and the Beckham’s are classic examples).
• Accessories – the latest cell phone, tasty cocktail, and bling, all associate with trappings of wealth and taste.
• Personality – larger than life, they have presence, charisma and (judging by the monstrous laughs by those surrounding them), a cracking sense-of-humour.
• Company – they hang out with the ‘in-crowd’ and others that have influence and standing.

All of the above makes them attractive, either sexually or simply attractive to be around or associated with.

To cut everything down to the bare bones, many of these people are marketing themselves to potential partners.

So where does this leave all of the ‘Plain Jane’s’ and ‘Nerdy Normans’?  Are they all destined for a lonely life because no one will look at them?  Of course not, they just market themselves in a different way – by connecting with people first.

In other words – they market themselves to one prospect at a time – where as the others can ‘market-to-many’ by simply ‘shaking their booty’.

Business does exactly the same thing – so where are the parallels?

Companies with good branding tend to be successful at gaining attention.  As a whole, they will get the first bite of the ‘Cherry’.  i.e. the initial phone call, email or brochure request.

Companies without good branding needs to work ‘one-on-one’.  They also tend not to understand why their ‘sexier’ competitors get more phone calls than they do.

Where business dating differs to real-life dating is that most people would consider it ‘not polite’ if their partner shared their bed with other people.  In business, being single or monogamous is very expensive!  We need multiple partners (clients) on order to survive.  In other words, you need to be hornier than Casanova in Cancun!

To compete efficiently, you need to set off the ‘right vibe’ in order to ‘market-to-many’ by simply ‘shaking your booty’.

Therefore, if you’re not getting those phone calls, emails and brochure requests don’t look at your advertising, look at your branding.

Is it up to scratch?  Are you sexier than your competition?  If you’re not, you’re only advertising to put people off you.

After all, you wouldn’t go out on the town without taking a shower and putting on some decent clobber would you?

If you designed your own logo and branding then chances are you’re falling short.

Don’t get me wrong, you can do it – If you’re creative, artistic, commutative, a Photoshop wizard, and can communicate a whole message, ethos, and history within a couple of words and an image.

In other words, if you’re a tailor, by all means make your own trousers to go out in, if you’re not, then follow the link at the end of this post.  It leads to a recent blog post by Gareth Hardy from downwithdesign.com.

Gareth details the development of a logo and shows how much you can communicate to your customers with just a single pictorial image.

Just before I hand you over I want to make a big point – being sexy doesn’t guarantee you a relationship (this needs work) but it does give you the opportunity of one!

Here’s the link to the post – The making of ‘Otus’ – a logo made with light.

When you’re exhibiting, you’re paying for your stall with two-sides of a coin.

On one side, you get to be in front of ‘X’ number of potential clients without having to compete for their attention against the distractions of their day-to-day job.  On the other side, you’re competing against all of the other exhibitors.

Lets be clear on what you’re competing against the other competitors for:  You’re competing for short-term memory space.

Why, because as anyone who has attended an exhibition as a visitor knows, it’s tiring, boring, and when you get home the whole thing is simply a blur.  Very few things stand out in your mind.

This is why firms spend thousands of pounds on impressive displays, and they water their stalls with their best-looking staff and flashy gizmo’s.  Basically, they’re all jousting with each other for this valuable part of the exhibition visitors’ brain matter.

What separates the ‘men from the boys’ in terms of exhibition marketing though, is what’s provided for visitors after they’ve visited your stand at the exhibition.

Firms that focus purely on the size of their stands are, in my opinion, throwing away good money – unless they’re coming up with something really spectacular.  They’d be much better off investing in promotional material that visitors can take away with them or use throughout the day.

Sturdy bags with your name, logo and number on are a great example – people need somewhere to put all of the cards, fliers, samples and catalouges they collect throughout the day.

I attended a networking event last week where approximately 150 local business people attended.  The purpose was to introduce new BCC (Birmingham Chamber of Commerce) members to each other and more specifically to around a dozen or so exhibitors.

Here’s a ‘pick of the bunch’ of the promotional giveaways…

The business card that dispenses mints!

Why this works…

• It’s unusual

• It’s pockets sized

• It has all the contact information you need on (nothing more, nothing less).

• It actually has real value – anyone who attends stuffy all-day events has been on the receiving end of Mr ‘I’m dehydrated and have stale coffee breath’.  It’s never pleasant and it reduces the odds of doing business (we do business with people we like, not with people who smell).  With this handy little gizmo you’re immunized against this little problem by turning a business card into a ‘fresh-minty-breath-maker’ – leaving you to woo your potential clients with minty clean breath!

• For all of the above reasons, this promotional give-away is a creative and original way of ensuring victory in the ‘Visitors Short-Term Memory Stakes’!.

The organisation in question is City College | Birmingham.  I spoke with a really helpful lady called Tracy who told me all about how they help improve workforce skills of a wide variety of businesses by creating customised training solutions, you can follow this link to find out how City College can benefit your business.

We all love fish and chips and whilst you get some better than others, we tend to stick to the local Chippy even if one further a field offers better quality grub.

Reason being; Fish n’ Chips is a convenience food, and unless the Chippy further a field is remarkably better, you would tend to stick with your local outlet.

Since Fish n’ Chips is a pretty standard recipe across the country, how would a Chip Shop owner make his product remarkable enough to entice the competitions customers?

Well here’s an idea

Did you know if you carbonated beer batter (make it fizzy by blasting it in a ‘Soda-Stream’ a couple of times) and deep fry it at 220c it produces the most amazing, tasty, crispy batter?

Just to underscore here, the batter you get is truly amazing.  It’s also incredibly crunchy, and yes, more than remarkable enough for people to drive an extra few miles to experience its total deliciousness!

Now, I’m not aware of a Chip Shop that does this and I’m guessing it’s because very few know about this method of cooking batter.  I only became aware of this taste and texture sensation last week when one of my ‘Foodie’ friends treated me to an alchemic feast.

As an exercise, let’s say you’re a Chip Shop owner and you take this idea by the horns and market along the following lines…

You market it as a ‘Secret Formula’ and have specially made carbonators called the ‘Batterizing Pods’ that would clunk and shake in front of an enchanted queue of dribbling customers.

In short, you would have managed to completely re-vamp a brand that has stayed the same since the dawn of time.

Local papers, TV (yes, it would be worthy of the local news channel), would be all over it.  Word of mouth would spread and suddenly you’d realise you need a couple more outlets!

All this could result from something as simple as ‘tweaking’ an established product in order to turn it into something remarkable.

So over to your business, what product could you cover with extra crispy batter?

[Legal Disclaimer] – Tailors, Taxidermists, and Veterinarians should note the last paragraph was meant as a metaphor and is not to be taken literally!

It doesn’t really matter what you batter, provided it makes your product better, and makes it remarkable enough for people to talk about.

If you’re a Chip Shop owner, please read my post on Procrastination and please remember me in your will!